1. |
Hardshell
05:05
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In another life I played Madison Square
In another life, I was queen of my love’s heart
In another life I was on another world
That looked far better from way up here
Call me the love of your life as you cast
the first stone
Bury your head in the sand and make me
your villain
I never was your woman
No matter how hard you want me to be
So when you tell them I was some enchantress
Courtesan, assassin
Clear the grains from off your eyes first
Don’t look back when you burn that bridge
It isn’t worth your time
You light the way forward
You just have to arrive
You just have to arrive
Here, the villain gets the hero’s welcome
And casting off your hard shell wins you the prize
He broke this body to get me here
What do I do now that I survived?
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2. |
I Dreamt I Was A Falcon
03:41
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I dreamt I was a falcon
outrunning the plague
and woke up a month later
to find that everything was still the same
is this what stability feels like
as dull as only home can be?
I'm not drunk, I'm not high,
I'm sad and still in love
I last touched wine on Christmas Eve
to flush what I'd hoped were the
last traces of you from my body
Took to sleeping like a holy rite
I never knew your hand upon me
but I want to, I want you
even now
I dreamt I was a puppet
and I was fine, finding I liked
to be at your mercy
liked having you be mine
is this bliss the absence of pain, or
should i fear some greater ecstasy?
I dreamt I was a falcon
And in that dream, I was yours
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3. |
Someone Else's Problem
04:09
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they say write drunk and edit sober
but i like to light fires anytime
there’s dirt underneath my fingernails and
grape juice on my hands
don’t come ‘round here
you’ll only melt
like the witch you are
and my voice and face will tell you it’s over
am i inconvenient? are you scared of me?
am i not as calm as you want me to be?
you want my feelings stacked and organized and spartan
I am enough, you say as though i am too much
i’m someone else’s fucking problem now, anyway
am i ungrateful? am i not thankful?
i’m just as thankful as i would be
for a china plate served
with no food on it
for an arm sawn off instead of mended
you are no surgeon like you claim to be
my sadness isn’t gangrene, it’s human
and i have every fucking right to be angry
there’s a place of passage
and an imaginary door
Thirteen years of fucking hell, but I don't go back there anymore
What happened there is my story to tell
You conceded that right when you put me through all nine circles of hell
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4. |
Hollow Elegy
04:09
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I was all alone when I heard she'd died
I gave her her elegy at the graveside
and buried all the hope and trust I had
someday where I may find it
a calmer September, another coast away
Let it go, man, that thing will kill you
Not even love can bring her back to life
No amount of hope can make her your wife
But what if there's something left of her ghost, you
say
I want this haunting
I want this holy spirit
I want this worship in a burnt out church
I was in the dark when you told me
you were in love with her, it hadn't let you be
I could feel the desperate hope in your voice
Years can't mend an ache
that I'm sure even forever can't heal
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5. |
Melinoia (It Was Me)
05:12
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I didn’t want to waste a song on you
But here we are regardless
Give me back what you took from me
And I’ll give you back your heart, oh
Tell him it was me, I said without saying it
Tell him he’ll be back when he wants me and he
hates it
Tell him he fucked with the wrong man
Tell him I’m coming for his plans
He’ll be back for me when it’s over
It’s one o seven and I’m long gone
Gone up the mount to never come home
I met you when I was bitter,
now I’m magic
There’s nothin here to stave off the panic, so
Bittersweet like the honey in your coffee
Bittersweet like the tears in your tea
Bittersweet like the sound of you leaving me
Because you know
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6. |
Just In Time
04:59
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Him and me in a hammock by the Susquehanna
And you, forever alone
I charted a course to Milwaukee
And there I came into my own
How far I’ve come from my place in Saratoga
How far I’ve come from the places you’ve yet to hold me
And further still from the places I wished you would
I pushed the limits of this mind
And I always seem to come home just in time
Just in time
I come home to him just in time
His power and his beauty would rival mine
If there came a time we were on opposite sides
He tells me he prefers my body to hers
He tells me he’ll love me first
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7. |
All That's Left Of Me
03:37
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did you know
did you know that I
want more, I want more
than to be the one to put the fun back in funeral
I want be more than just
something to mourn
I want you to look at me and see
more than who you wanted me to be
but you look past me
look through me
and see nothing there at all
it seems too much is almost enough
it seems too much is almost enough
it seems too much is all that's left of me
it seems too much is almost enough
it seems too much is almost enough
and what you want is not what I'm offering
did you know, did you know
that I want more than what you
wanted for me?
I want you to see me for who I am
not as a way to fill the empty
space where your heart should be
I want you to know
I'm gone, no longer the bearer
of all the normalcy you never got
to have
too much, too much, too much
too much, too much, too much
enough.
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8. |
Heretic Song
03:25
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it’s a beautiful day when i pretend
i’m going to some kind of good girl
heaven
but that’s for the believers
and not me
i shiver in my concrete drywall box
in the city called sacred
city of a king
have i gone crazy?
no, that’s just me
what’s the verdict?
let’s pretend i’m stable for one more second
i am the heretic among the sanctified
more riddled with holes than holy
i walk amid you
and you will never know
me
it’s a beautiful day when
i act like who they want me to be
but i’m too big for the box
they want to put me in
i know more than i think i know
than you think i know
i shiver in this concrete prison box
in this city made for God
city for kings to be
call me crazy
but this is all me
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9. |
April 18, 2023
03:32
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If only we can outlast the plague
The coming end of days
In a ring around the rosy hand in hand
We fall like children
Fall in love, fall from grace
There is no safety in the air, in this place
Fall away
The magician swears he’s good on his back foot
The wheel of fortune swears the same
But when he comes back he won’t call my name
And nor would Peter at the pearly gates
Grow up, blow away, forget about me
And maybe then I’ll decide to stay
If only we could outlast the year
And then I’ll look past the fear
I think I do nothing but give, but so do you
We run like children
From each other, through the snow
And all of us have nowhere left to go
But to fall away
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10. |
Intrepid
03:30
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Don't let it get to you, you said
Well, I did
Take a rectangle, untangle your head
Intrepid
Would you bet your life on me, darling, if I did?
Well, the way I spent my winter
I wonder, how could we commit?
When the long road noise is loud and you can't hear the song go
I'm out here with no real belief and no hand for me to hold
Up in the early morning for no reason again
Relistening to your message and I held it in my head
Through broke signal like what type of world we wanna live in?
Do we curl inwards or live long together in forgiveness?
You said: Do we bend our lives to it, darling?
Then we did
If we learn to love ourselves better, maybe
We could commit?
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11. |
Salem Dulcimer Blues
06:39
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Candy For Trees Milwaukee, Wisconsin
When Ashley Halliwell heard someone say "rain is like candy for trees", their mind never let it
go.
Upon moving to Alaska from Texas, they began to compose their own musical scores, which would later become the Candy for Trees catalog. In 2019, they moved their work from previous names to the CFT Bandcamp.
... more
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